Over the Hill

I visited my friends at school on Friday. I had dinner with two of my closest friends at our favorite restaurant in Queens. Whenever the three of us want to go out to dinner this is our usual. It's nice. It's familiar. I miss them when they're not around. Around them I feel completely normal. They are truly my peers. I respect their opinion even when they're chastising me for texting him on Friday during work. Even when they tell me that I should just ignore him when he contacts me out of the blue. Even when they show me their own weaknesses and concerns. Even when they have their own frustrations and challenges to face.

Afterwards we went to a fraternity party. A year ago I would have had a really good time. Don't get me wrong. I did enjoy myself because of the group of people I went with, but I still felt like a fish out of water. Everyone else seemed so young, naive, and sheltered. They lived within the confines of college and their plans were limited to final exams and parties. They had no broader vision.

I know I'm not old. I'm 21. I should be a senior in college now. Except I did that last year and now I feel old despite what my age is.